Shit do you think I like to study do you think I like to go to school do you think I like to wear clothes and tie my hair and eat the canteen food study fucking hard and continue to fail like shit is it. Is it very fun? Is it exciting? To see how much I fail by in the next test? And do I like to go for tuition and not understand a single shit and sit there like an oxymoron and after that take up the teacher time by asking him retarded questions that I should have known. Do you think I like to waste your time like that. Do you think I want to waste my parents money like that. I dont fucking mind to shower twice a week and eat one meal a day. Why do I have to learn these stupid subjects that I will never ever become good at despite begging and asking desperately for help. And I still fail. So where in this shit lonely world do I go now? Neither here nor there. I have to swallow my fucking tears and scream silently inside because my family will be shamed or something if I do not. Yeah. So how. So I said fuck. I have been fucking trying. Shit does it work. I am born this way. Yup. Haha. A hopeless case right. I know you fucking mock me because I cannot do math. Because I am a retard, a complete hopeless failure in a school that produces top o level scorers three years in a row. And you know what. What I wouldnt give to pass math. Why must I study. My parents lust produced me. I am merely a product a consequence of their lust. So how long can lust last? Every night. I have been sitting here. Squatting lying. Twisted in weird positions. Thinking studying math like that will finally help me pass? No such luck. I am going to fail nevertheless. My parents are sad miserable people. I have no home. Do I want to have no home in a place where the majority have homes. I want to be in a place where the majority have no homes. I want to be the majority. Yup. This is the question. If there is a God, why does this kind of thing happen every single night. You claim you love God. Do you know who God is. Fine. You know. Then this is the place that God forgot. I am the creation that God forgot.