I always believed that as long as I worked hard enough, I would do well. but no. pjc made me drop that stupid idea completely. here, i learnt that social networking is so much more important and prized over hard work. adding loads of 'other achievements' to your testimonial is more important. having a confident presence is more important. sucking up to teachers is more important.
being hardworking is stupid.
oh, and whenever a student cries badly over the education system, call her parents. immediately. and treat her like a depression case.
Friday, March 7, 2014
So, what now?
Just another test of character, my patience in how to (yet again( deal with grave disappointment.
How much more of this trying must I try? How much before i finally get the courage to end this shit once and for all? How much?
I can't help thinking to myself
If there was a God, He/She wouldn't have let this happen at all. To good people.
Because what is the purpose of education? to churn out students who obtain straight A's and applaud their academic efforts or instill in students values and life skills ( like how to deal with disappointment and not be so self-absorbed/have this disgusting sense of self-entitlement etc) well it seems that in Singapore the former is more applicable.
The fact that my school applauds people who can juggle BOTH CCA co-curricular commitments and academic achievements in heavily ironic. because the ones who have other commitments would have a more fufiling time and hence a much more positive outlook on life (sure you might say that they are faced with more stress, but no they actually benefit more from the other commitments) and they get extra help from teachers as well, have more friends to share notes with bla bla so look who's talking now?
for example, if you're in the EXCO of the debating and oratorical society you would be exposed to various debating styles and benefit from networking with your teacher and coach (some academic genius) and hence develop better essay writing skills. hence scoring better in General Paper. and other Arts subjects. so the fact that you're doing well academically despite other heavy commitments is a no-brainer????? it doesnt make sense.
and usually these co curricular activities just boost the person's ego all the more. they get accepted into the best univerisity courses monopolize the academic industry and then what next?????
what is the outcome of this JC education then? is resilience merely about academic achivements and how to network with others for the sake of personal reasons? (like oh i want to earn lots of money wealth status in future so i must do this now NOT because i genuinely want to help society)
Singapore, you are not my country.
How much more of this trying must I try? How much before i finally get the courage to end this shit once and for all? How much?
I can't help thinking to myself
If there was a God, He/She wouldn't have let this happen at all. To good people.
Because what is the purpose of education? to churn out students who obtain straight A's and applaud their academic efforts or instill in students values and life skills ( like how to deal with disappointment and not be so self-absorbed/have this disgusting sense of self-entitlement etc) well it seems that in Singapore the former is more applicable.
The fact that my school applauds people who can juggle BOTH CCA co-curricular commitments and academic achievements in heavily ironic. because the ones who have other commitments would have a more fufiling time and hence a much more positive outlook on life (sure you might say that they are faced with more stress, but no they actually benefit more from the other commitments) and they get extra help from teachers as well, have more friends to share notes with bla bla so look who's talking now?
for example, if you're in the EXCO of the debating and oratorical society you would be exposed to various debating styles and benefit from networking with your teacher and coach (some academic genius) and hence develop better essay writing skills. hence scoring better in General Paper. and other Arts subjects. so the fact that you're doing well academically despite other heavy commitments is a no-brainer????? it doesnt make sense.
and usually these co curricular activities just boost the person's ego all the more. they get accepted into the best univerisity courses monopolize the academic industry and then what next?????
what is the outcome of this JC education then? is resilience merely about academic achivements and how to network with others for the sake of personal reasons? (like oh i want to earn lots of money wealth status in future so i must do this now NOT because i genuinely want to help society)
Singapore, you are not my country.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
i think my job is (insert f-word here) up
"If you don't want politics, join the tuition industry"
this was what i heard a few days ago from a group of girls advising their friend. just have a habit of eavesdropping they talked so loudly anyway.
so as much as I would love to teach and interact with students because they are much more sincere/caring/helpful/understanding/un-hypocritical/un-manipulative than adults i cannot because i know the gross ugliness of the education industry.
Educators (or at least educators working for this company):
1. Give in to parents' unreasonable demands.
2.Have unfair amounts of workload - as mentioned in previous posts i have a effing chao geng co-worker who continues to slack her ass off and suck up to the supervisor who laps it up
3. and said supervisor continues to live in sweet denial of the issues that are going on, refusing to delegate fair work to employees/have a meeting to clear up complaints, misunderstandings and whatnot
4. have to deal with lots of other shits like admin work, dishwashing. insect extermination, groceries buying, cooking, etc etc (OH AND DEALING WITH UNREASONABLE COMPLAINTS AND WORK POLITICS - WOW COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY?!)
5. Cannot punish students in a way we deem fit, but yet are not given guidance on how the school/MOE would like us to discipline students (wow)
6. but yet get complained about when we are trying our best, ironically by the primary school's management itself, and to make it worse from our very own employers (the ones responsible for guiding us on how to deal with all these shits in the first place)
this is really stupid, i dont know how to deal with this anymore. i enjoy teaching the kids but how to concentrate on motivating and inspiring learning when i am constantly being put down for my efforts? 当坚持像无賴
translation: when perseverance seems like shamelessness
putting in voluntary time to plan fun and educational activities for the students/thinking of discipline matters to suit the school management, the company, the government and the parents (like how is that going to be done?!) and yet must work with the students
and i know all these is not going to be acknowledged, it might even seem rude/overbearing/authoritative/bossy/WRONG/ILLEGAL etc on my part.
but who cares, i'm shameless anyway. liking people who don't like me back. talking to people who ignore me. giving people who not only don't reciprocate but don't appreciate as well birthday presents, notes, caring texts, thoughts. for what all these. for what.
it just makes me question my self-worth all the more. as long as this goes on I'll never have the mental and emotional capacity to love another human being. not even my mother. my sister. my family.
Ah fuck it.
this was what i heard a few days ago from a group of girls advising their friend. just have a habit of eavesdropping they talked so loudly anyway.
so as much as I would love to teach and interact with students because they are much more sincere/caring/helpful/understanding/un-hypocritical/un-manipulative than adults i cannot because i know the gross ugliness of the education industry.
Educators (or at least educators working for this company):
1. Give in to parents' unreasonable demands.
2.Have unfair amounts of workload - as mentioned in previous posts i have a effing chao geng co-worker who continues to slack her ass off and suck up to the supervisor who laps it up
3. and said supervisor continues to live in sweet denial of the issues that are going on, refusing to delegate fair work to employees/have a meeting to clear up complaints, misunderstandings and whatnot
4. have to deal with lots of other shits like admin work, dishwashing. insect extermination, groceries buying, cooking, etc etc (OH AND DEALING WITH UNREASONABLE COMPLAINTS AND WORK POLITICS - WOW COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY?!)
5. Cannot punish students in a way we deem fit, but yet are not given guidance on how the school/MOE would like us to discipline students (wow)
6. but yet get complained about when we are trying our best, ironically by the primary school's management itself, and to make it worse from our very own employers (the ones responsible for guiding us on how to deal with all these shits in the first place)
this is really stupid, i dont know how to deal with this anymore. i enjoy teaching the kids but how to concentrate on motivating and inspiring learning when i am constantly being put down for my efforts? 当坚持像无賴
translation: when perseverance seems like shamelessness
putting in voluntary time to plan fun and educational activities for the students/thinking of discipline matters to suit the school management, the company, the government and the parents (like how is that going to be done?!) and yet must work with the students
and i know all these is not going to be acknowledged, it might even seem rude/overbearing/authoritative/bossy/WRONG/ILLEGAL etc on my part.
but who cares, i'm shameless anyway. liking people who don't like me back. talking to people who ignore me. giving people who not only don't reciprocate but don't appreciate as well birthday presents, notes, caring texts, thoughts. for what all these. for what.
it just makes me question my self-worth all the more. as long as this goes on I'll never have the mental and emotional capacity to love another human being. not even my mother. my sister. my family.
Ah fuck it.
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