dont leave me like this.

'look at it this way - say there's a snake out in the desert, and the snake eats a rat. Its the food chain, and so its no big deal. God isn't involved. And then say you're in Africa and a lion eats a gazelle or something. Same thing: food chain; God's not there either. But then say that same lion one week later kills a human being and then eats that human being. What - suddenly God's involved in it? - like we're the only divine link in the food chain or something?'

shit i dont know. am i a very hypocritical thing or something?
does God love pigs and chickens? why is it okay to kill chickens for food and trade chickens but not trade human beings. why are humans not food?
then i experience this bad thing, lets say in school. then i go home and home is better. so God is blessing me? i have a good thing here and then a bad thing there. so it is balanced.
however going to church is good because i learn to become a better human being.
did God come to Singapore?
if he love us why got people commit suicide and screw up.
is it cause they never go to church?

but i am blessed. is it by God? do you hate me for talking like this? i might get killed cause i talk shit with no conscience. i am just a fuck up.
i have many sweet and nice people who care alot about me and celebrate my birthday four freaking times.
am i slime in God's eyes?

thank you

hello, something great has happened to me.

am eternally grateful and happy to be living in a loving environment engulfed in love care and concerns.

Thank you very much <3
to everyone who wished me happy birthday and sang the song for me.
i cannot accept this overwhelming kindness.
was in school and having math lesson which was the last perod of the day. and then vernice and xiaoyou and shirlene kept asking me to sleep.
'you are very tired sleep now'
'madam lee not teaching already faster sleep!'
'you want to trick me right! '
'no no i sleep with you okay then if you get tircked i also get tricked '
haha. so cute right.
but i did not sleep, then grace and shirlene went up to put on the visualizer, 'sing birthday song to claudia now to wake her up' (although shes not sleeping)
omg freaking nice. i do not know what to say to this suffocating love
then they singed for me
THANK YOU VERY MUCH 3/4 wisdom <3
i have the bestest class in the history of chij saint nicholas girls school.
am very blessed to have birthday celebrated so many times with so many awesome people.
thank you very very much for bestowing such grace and love to me.
and lokyan maryanne and melissa (: thanks for the surprise.
and to my lifegroup nea1 <3
thanks alot for doing so much for me although i do not deserve it. planning the birthday celebration and going all out to make it a surprise and affirming us.
thank you to everyone who has lifted me from the depths of despair to the heights of giddy ecstasy.
and encouraging me on from my depressed state to where i am now.
thank you.
shit, perhaps the words i used to thank is highly inappropriate. sorry. i want to thank everybody who has helped me so much and encouraging me everytime i talk rubbish like i want to die et cetera
okay i must say thank you
yinsiang! thanks so so so much for your cards and note and letters and comfort and everything. since last year until now you keep encouraging me on and help me. i didnt even do anything for you ): get well soon okay. <3
andrea! thanks for helping me in chemistry and math and your notes and cards. and the pink book! telling me alot of nice and encouraging things. thank you very very much. i wont say fark anymore the slippers really very nice <3
thank you for the cards and gifts and songs and wishes.

I'm alive but so what

Hiiex. lets try this
I'll give you a crisp, new thousand dollar note if you just give me a phone call and put me out of my misery.