i dont like to be like this either haunted traumatized by the freaking memories of singapore why am i in singapore wheni dont know anyone everyone is so far away, act like they dont know me avoid the paths i take like i am the plague or just refuse to catch my eye in the public to escape saying hi is it like very hard to say hello why FUCK SOCIETY'S IDEA OF BEAUTY
RESULTS DONT DEFINE PEOPLE ALSO.
or even the way people speak or dress or eat or sleep or talk
isnt it the way they treat humans plants and animals and the environment that matters?
another sad thing is that people who decide they dont want to die after they have jumped off. or like after they have drank rat poison. will that happen to me?
what is the point of living n a world where no one knows you
what is the purpose in life. you dont even know yet you keep saying everyone has a purpose in life. what? to degenerate the eart even more. to produce more carbon dioxide. to eat more animals. and produce clones of myself to do the same thing.
ok. the thing is that i wouldnt feel so freaking sad and hurteded if i did not help out as much. but this is three freaking years. like other people also same number of years. then why the exclusivity in treatment.
just accept it. but must understand before can accept.
how to understand.
i like wanglihong and huxia.
i want to go and watch tv and waste my life away coz i know i will never make it no matter what i do because i have shit for brains and it i smy destiny/fate to be alone. alone in the wolfpack. it is made up of one lonely. loney but strong and still alive person. still can walk properly and eat properly and shit properly and fatter than ever. yi ge ren sheng huo.
why ask me to come when i was not even needed was it to make the wolfpack larger. to just see it grow in numbers but not knowing the wolves. then whats the point of keeping it growing. if you feel that it is made up of the wrong 'inexperienced' people. yeah you train them. you select specifics and train them. the ones unselected. are abandoned for and left and the mercy of the predators. but you could have saved them too.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
i am in misery
and you know what i do not need to be accepted anymore
by this shit school or by whatever shit organization or whatever committee.
happy to be alone.
alone to be happy.
cannot be myself until i am by myself.
please enlighten me what is this.
how to be nice? comes from the heart right. the freaking heart, chong xin di xian chu ai xin.
so no need to smile like some freak. just be kind to all the humans. be polite. like that can anot. like risk life to protect others. i feel that i can do that.
why must you make it exclusiveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
define 'experienced'
or experienced=popular in this context
now go away.
and you know what i do not need to be accepted anymore
by this shit school or by whatever shit organization or whatever committee.
happy to be alone.
alone to be happy.
cannot be myself until i am by myself.
please enlighten me what is this.
how to be nice? comes from the heart right. the freaking heart, chong xin di xian chu ai xin.
so no need to smile like some freak. just be kind to all the humans. be polite. like that can anot. like risk life to protect others. i feel that i can do that.
why must you make it exclusiveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
define 'experienced'
or experienced=popular in this context
now go away.
Friday, May 27, 2011
the feeling you get when someone who has ignored your existence for the past one year plus and suddenly acknowledges you on facebook is just. totally out of this world. ok. even though they speak to you only when they require your help it is still amazing to be acknowledged. i almost died. unfortunately, i am still alive.
ok. i feel that the things i post reflect a very immature juvenile ( used correctly anot? ) side of me. i need to stop if not it is going to affect my career and eventually my future. but isnt it great to see how i mature in my posts. like as in the evolving thoughts and opinions. cool anot? theme of evoulution.
i might die tomorrow. of an anxiety attack. panic at the disco! no this is panic in the public. i am going to die in public.
okay bye.
i feel rather sad.
what to do goodness gracious me.
lastly good luck to those taking olevels' chinese on monday...<3
ok. i feel that the things i post reflect a very immature juvenile ( used correctly anot? ) side of me. i need to stop if not it is going to affect my career and eventually my future. but isnt it great to see how i mature in my posts. like as in the evolving thoughts and opinions. cool anot? theme of evoulution.
i might die tomorrow. of an anxiety attack. panic at the disco! no this is panic in the public. i am going to die in public.
okay bye.
i feel rather sad.
what to do goodness gracious me.
lastly good luck to those taking olevels' chinese on monday...<3
Monday, May 23, 2011
i'm all out of love i'm so lost without you i want you to come and carry me home away from this long lonely nights are you feeling it too?
if you wonder off to far, my love will get you home
if you follow the wrong star my love will get you home
if you ever find yourself lost and all alone get back on your feet and think of me my love will get you home
i can hardly breathe i need to feel you here with me
if you wonder off to far, my love will get you home
if you follow the wrong star my love will get you home
if you ever find yourself lost and all alone get back on your feet and think of me my love will get you home
i can hardly breathe i need to feel you here with me
2.51 a.m
show off see i so nocturnal ok. WHY SO LATE HAVENT SLEEP!
because i am in misery okay.
because you going go away and you dont want say some last words to me.
why? a few words only. and you ask me why did i call.
you know why? coz i want to hear your voice. and you can counter attack me by asking why dont go use public phone. becoz i at home and i want to hear your voice immediately i got no courage to walk to the void deck and punch in your numbers like a prank call. so i press in my phone. or you see my number you dont wanna answer.
no sometimes my phone just auto-dials you because it loves you.
see i dont know how long will this feeling last i am being fucking selfish by telling the whole world how sad how miserable i am because of this one person.
but i seriously know i have a choice lah. i dont need people to feel secure about myself to feel happy blah blah.
but you know what this worlds is screwed.
they preach about no doing things for love. but to do things OUT OF LOVE.
that means in other words go and work for free. teach for free. because you love. not because you need the money. yeah.
you procreate coz of what? so singapore will not extinct lah. so we like machines to keep the country running.
we have like a prophecy or something.
see the love is always not pure love.
is always wanting to be needed etc.
want this want that. complaining about the other person not being as committed as you blah blah.
i havent been in a relationship since i was born and im still living life.
are you happy that way?
i use to think that people who have many equal ratio of friends of the opposite sex and same sex are like very super lucky why cant i also.
why is everyone out to make friends? everyone is going with the flow!
is it to really get to know them or to make them indebted to you? to make yourself feel good? i am guilty of that.
anyway i want to go toilet and shit now. and then wallow in self pity.
bye.
show off see i so nocturnal ok. WHY SO LATE HAVENT SLEEP!
because i am in misery okay.
because you going go away and you dont want say some last words to me.
why? a few words only. and you ask me why did i call.
you know why? coz i want to hear your voice. and you can counter attack me by asking why dont go use public phone. becoz i at home and i want to hear your voice immediately i got no courage to walk to the void deck and punch in your numbers like a prank call. so i press in my phone. or you see my number you dont wanna answer.
no sometimes my phone just auto-dials you because it loves you.
see i dont know how long will this feeling last i am being fucking selfish by telling the whole world how sad how miserable i am because of this one person.
but i seriously know i have a choice lah. i dont need people to feel secure about myself to feel happy blah blah.
but you know what this worlds is screwed.
they preach about no doing things for love. but to do things OUT OF LOVE.
that means in other words go and work for free. teach for free. because you love. not because you need the money. yeah.
you procreate coz of what? so singapore will not extinct lah. so we like machines to keep the country running.
we have like a prophecy or something.
see the love is always not pure love.
is always wanting to be needed etc.
want this want that. complaining about the other person not being as committed as you blah blah.
i havent been in a relationship since i was born and im still living life.
are you happy that way?
i use to think that people who have many equal ratio of friends of the opposite sex and same sex are like very super lucky why cant i also.
why is everyone out to make friends? everyone is going with the flow!
is it to really get to know them or to make them indebted to you? to make yourself feel good? i am guilty of that.
anyway i want to go toilet and shit now. and then wallow in self pity.
bye.
you know?
ni bu zhi dao de shi.
the feeling when you are like all alone.
after school. you come home with kanasai results
and the next day you need to drag your fucking body to the fucking school and every second every fibre of your being is screaming to go home.
but you cant. because education is compulsory. i never get a1 does not mean i not smart. acherly i very smart. i just lazy use can.
and no one is going to be there when you get home so all you can do is stone downstairs in the darkness or like come home and talk to your chair/bed/table.
why cant furniture talk.
and you try to sms some people hoping to get some consolation turning to people only when you need them is so despicable but i cannot control okay. so i text.
and i start being weird and stupid and sounding illogical in the sms.
and now i am freaking blogging when i should be watching tv or be in the toilet shitting.
you know what i dont want this to be me.
i also very sad.
i want to live in sierra leaone.
why you purposely dont want to reply my message? can we just say a bit of words to each other. what are words when you dont mean them when you say them? but you dont bother saying words. i will write song. song without words. coz some people dont use words. just ignore.
it hurts the most.
like yes everyone will get over it move on life goes on blah blah. but deep down inside the scars of your love. or my love. is like going to burn forever like an eternal flame.
and yes. it pissayes me off when people say that at this age relationships are not love. shuddup manzx. only you can love is it? you're not God!
i labb myselb okeh.
when you talk to me again.
and then church. going to church.
feel better. with nice people. are they just smiling
why do they keep smiling
dont like smiles
thank you ms yee mdm lee fangwei, lokyan, sheryl, siowpin andrea yinsiang grace melissa suyuan and so one people who have helped me in my life. and everything else.
this is not to show off like i got alot of people help me i so popular leh. no it is because i no know how else to express it. so i put into words. thank you very much.
someone once tolded me that i am not exhibiting the usual response of someone being maligned and that is doubtful. i was supposed to be agitated but i wasnt. tell me, how am i supposed to be agitated. capitalize every word i text?
anyway please tell me how to feel.
and now, please please.
i cannot think properly.
bloody emo. i am emo!
happy hor
ni bu zhi dao de shi.
the feeling when you are like all alone.
after school. you come home with kanasai results
and the next day you need to drag your fucking body to the fucking school and every second every fibre of your being is screaming to go home.
but you cant. because education is compulsory. i never get a1 does not mean i not smart. acherly i very smart. i just lazy use can.
and no one is going to be there when you get home so all you can do is stone downstairs in the darkness or like come home and talk to your chair/bed/table.
why cant furniture talk.
and you try to sms some people hoping to get some consolation turning to people only when you need them is so despicable but i cannot control okay. so i text.
and i start being weird and stupid and sounding illogical in the sms.
and now i am freaking blogging when i should be watching tv or be in the toilet shitting.
you know what i dont want this to be me.
i also very sad.
i want to live in sierra leaone.
why you purposely dont want to reply my message? can we just say a bit of words to each other. what are words when you dont mean them when you say them? but you dont bother saying words. i will write song. song without words. coz some people dont use words. just ignore.
it hurts the most.
like yes everyone will get over it move on life goes on blah blah. but deep down inside the scars of your love. or my love. is like going to burn forever like an eternal flame.
and yes. it pissayes me off when people say that at this age relationships are not love. shuddup manzx. only you can love is it? you're not God!
i labb myselb okeh.
when you talk to me again.
and then church. going to church.
feel better. with nice people. are they just smiling
why do they keep smiling
dont like smiles
thank you ms yee mdm lee fangwei, lokyan, sheryl, siowpin andrea yinsiang grace melissa suyuan and so one people who have helped me in my life. and everything else.
this is not to show off like i got alot of people help me i so popular leh. no it is because i no know how else to express it. so i put into words. thank you very much.
someone once tolded me that i am not exhibiting the usual response of someone being maligned and that is doubtful. i was supposed to be agitated but i wasnt. tell me, how am i supposed to be agitated. capitalize every word i text?
anyway please tell me how to feel.
and now, please please.
i cannot think properly.
bloody emo. i am emo!
happy hor
i want to go to jubilate omg i am like a stalker/loser stalking people's photos on facebook. like this dateless person who didnt go to prom and is hiding behind the computer screen envying the lives of glamorous people. anyway i have just played finish neopets and yeah. and i bought a earpiece made of metal . thats what it says on the cover. so the music becomes like metal music.
a bit the waste the money,
cannot take it lah omg i hate myself tonight
why dont let me die away?
oh die die die. can i repeat it everyday so i will die?
like dying inside. you know? like spirit-ly dying.
yah lah. stupid shizxzxc.
whazz zis.
a bit the waste the money,
cannot take it lah omg i hate myself tonight
why dont let me die away?
oh die die die. can i repeat it everyday so i will die?
like dying inside. you know? like spirit-ly dying.
yah lah. stupid shizxzxc.
whazz zis.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Dreams
That never come true.
I have always dreamt of going to school early. But do dreams come true.
I have always dreamt of going to school early. But do dreams come true.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
the BIWs
and er yeah decided to stalk some.
and due to my fantastic eye for detail/great inference skills have uncovered the physical features of some too.
apparently at scrabble championships they hide tiles in their cardigans. tiles like Q,U,I,Z, (blank),E,D. AND THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE DAY'S 3 GAMES QUIZ(Z)ED WAS PUT DOWN. er ya. what does this mean. totally. what is ixunt. whaz zat. and throughout the games majority of such shit words like that were put down. and they dont even record their scores. how can quizzed earn you 235 points. turn the board to your advantage. dont record the scores. cheat other teams.
'hey you won by 95 points'
'95 where got enough'
seriously. get a life.
then you go and trash some other school by 7,000 points
is this what they teach you in school
then what kind of school is that
back in sec 1 when i played scrabble the same shit happened didnt know shit and yeah got trashed like shit. 100 plus points to 400 plus. see a phoney also dont know its a phoney. yeah and they use tile checkers. competitive until like shit. do they compete who shits the fastest too. waliao ehzzz. this not mahjong or what.
they know the rules freaking well. they know it freaking well. yet they still flout the rules. psle score a lot then can throw your weight around is it.
is talking/writing in cheem angmoh a big deal?
and they boast about playing phonies? 'i play dunno how many phonies'
and they bully girls? they dont announce their score. like if its not more than 30 points per word is like a vv shameful thing.
they dont write their score on the score sheets. they dominate other teams. for 4 years they go scot free. our future leaders. all hail.
blah blah. singapore is covered in white totally in white. symbol of purity? or death.
and due to my fantastic eye for detail/great inference skills have uncovered the physical features of some too.
apparently at scrabble championships they hide tiles in their cardigans. tiles like Q,U,I,Z, (blank),E,D. AND THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE DAY'S 3 GAMES QUIZ(Z)ED WAS PUT DOWN. er ya. what does this mean. totally. what is ixunt. whaz zat. and throughout the games majority of such shit words like that were put down. and they dont even record their scores. how can quizzed earn you 235 points. turn the board to your advantage. dont record the scores. cheat other teams.
'hey you won by 95 points'
'95 where got enough'
seriously. get a life.
then you go and trash some other school by 7,000 points
is this what they teach you in school
then what kind of school is that
back in sec 1 when i played scrabble the same shit happened didnt know shit and yeah got trashed like shit. 100 plus points to 400 plus. see a phoney also dont know its a phoney. yeah and they use tile checkers. competitive until like shit. do they compete who shits the fastest too. waliao ehzzz. this not mahjong or what.
they know the rules freaking well. they know it freaking well. yet they still flout the rules. psle score a lot then can throw your weight around is it.
is talking/writing in cheem angmoh a big deal?
and they boast about playing phonies? 'i play dunno how many phonies'
and they bully girls? they dont announce their score. like if its not more than 30 points per word is like a vv shameful thing.
they dont write their score on the score sheets. they dominate other teams. for 4 years they go scot free. our future leaders. all hail.
blah blah. singapore is covered in white totally in white. symbol of purity? or death.
Monday, May 16, 2011
okay i hate this.
this is the most miserable one. please weep after you read this.
the desire to go on facebook so much and finally getting one facebook and spend hours on facebook and end up getting depressed and thus eating lots of food and doing random things like plucking your dead skin and yeah well fantasizing about people who will never like you. thank you facebook.
this is the most miserable one. please weep after you read this.
the desire to go on facebook so much and finally getting one facebook and spend hours on facebook and end up getting depressed and thus eating lots of food and doing random things like plucking your dead skin and yeah well fantasizing about people who will never like you. thank you facebook.
something lah
yeah so i had the most number of people calling my number yesterday like 30 plus is it right of me to be talking about it here? okay so apparently the majority (?) of singapore knows my number! omg.
how did this happen...
okay flashback
yeah so theres this advertisment on gumtree asking for flyer distributors paying $8.50 an hour at suntec city IT Fair. I also want go, should i be calling myself?
so alot of people have been calling me and asking about job vacancies and when i tell them i am not esther they refuse to believe me. they are confused. so am i. yeah must get to the bottom of this. but feel quite popular hor.
then got scolded by one of them 'ha. bwg right. bwg mai gong! dont gimme this alibaba reasons lah hor pls lah you think i yesterday born one is it ( no you today born one ) cb. knn. jibye. ( jibai? ) '
im going to work at the IT Fair.
Work for myself.
how did this happen...
okay flashback
yeah so theres this advertisment on gumtree asking for flyer distributors paying $8.50 an hour at suntec city IT Fair. I also want go, should i be calling myself?
so alot of people have been calling me and asking about job vacancies and when i tell them i am not esther they refuse to believe me. they are confused. so am i. yeah must get to the bottom of this. but feel quite popular hor.
then got scolded by one of them 'ha. bwg right. bwg mai gong! dont gimme this alibaba reasons lah hor pls lah you think i yesterday born one is it ( no you today born one ) cb. knn. jibye. ( jibai? ) '
im going to work at the IT Fair.
Work for myself.
just some things to be miserable about (:
Soldiers who miss killing people
Poisonous berries
Your face
Jealousy
The desire of wanting your enemies to like you
People who like themselves
Sloth
Pride
Happiness
Dying while waiting for the mail to come
Third times that are not the charm
People who assume that God is whatever gender and ethnicity they are
Men with Jesus beards
Coveting thy neighbour's salary
Pitch-correction software that makes people who cant sing into pop stars
the randomness of the universe
People having more facebook friends than you
Lying about your weight
Lying about your height
Farting during meetings
Toothbrushes in toilet bowls
Stagnant salaries
Small talk
Going to bed and never waking up
Politicians that dabble in poetry
Poets that dabble in politics
The end of the world
The possibility that the arrival of a meteorite will extinguish all life on Earth
People who embrace themselves
Having no one comment on your status updates on facebook even though theyre really funny/sad/depressing/suicidal
Loneliness
Empty-ness
Going to bed angry
Knowing when your primary school friend is going to ntuc thanks to facebook
Being happy that youre sad
Being sad that youre happy
Poisonous berries
Your face
Jealousy
The desire of wanting your enemies to like you
People who like themselves
Sloth
Pride
Happiness
Dying while waiting for the mail to come
Third times that are not the charm
People who assume that God is whatever gender and ethnicity they are
Men with Jesus beards
Coveting thy neighbour's salary
Pitch-correction software that makes people who cant sing into pop stars
the randomness of the universe
People having more facebook friends than you
Lying about your weight
Lying about your height
Farting during meetings
Toothbrushes in toilet bowls
Stagnant salaries
Small talk
Going to bed and never waking up
Politicians that dabble in poetry
Poets that dabble in politics
The end of the world
The possibility that the arrival of a meteorite will extinguish all life on Earth
People who embrace themselves
Having no one comment on your status updates on facebook even though theyre really funny/sad/depressing/suicidal
Loneliness
Empty-ness
Going to bed angry
Knowing when your primary school friend is going to ntuc thanks to facebook
Being happy that youre sad
Being sad that youre happy
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Is it worth it to pay like five hundred dollars every single month just to get an L1R5 of 8? Is it worth it. Just save that freaking fortune and then no need to study already. Study to get money. But I already got money so study for what? Put the money in the bank and earn compound interest okay. Does a1 guarantee a freaking future. Yes it does omg. Whats this man. Very despair now. At the edge of a breakdown. Because the poor dont have that option okay. The income gap is just going to get bigger. School is filtering out who is going to work in pulau semakau and who goes out and buy kate spades and earn fifteen ks a month. I've got no money no money no money like you!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Too busy making a living to live. Composite face. I have got no noonew like you. In remedial fail. In tuition fail. Live for so many years still die. Whats this. I want to live for 750 years. Then I can get a1. I can understand everything there is to understand. I can uncover layer after layer of lies. I will see the truth. One day. When I am the only one of my kind alive.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
understanding governance of your brain
but actually your freaking brain is governing your thinking! omg how to understand the brain. is like thinking to think or something like that. shit. or thinking a thought.
i will talk in mature way. i will have sensitive response to mankind. yes.
i want my existence to be a significant one.
anyway i quite angry with this human in my species lah. is she the same species as me? i think she is a rare species and must be analysed by professionals.
because she talk weirdly. lets analyse this ( i am not going to emphasize it because i am not a professional and thus should not act like one and highlight stuff that is not confirmed as important/worthy of human attention. ) i care for the eyes of my readers.
so here goes:
I want to salvage our friendship. ( note the failed attempt at the use of cheem english! )
But we have to work together. ( what this is a job meh? under primary/secondary/tertiary/quaternary industry? )
I know you cant stand it when _________and I talk about studies, perhaps you feel left out. ( coz i am so much smarter than you, duh. thats why you bore me and i leave myself out coz i am so much more interesting than you so i go talk to myself. dont even need to waste saliva because i can communicate telepathically and improve my angmoh coz i contemplate. and note the missing apostrophe at the cant? whats cant? cunt? dont know how to use basic angmoh still use salvage. ) WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU VEH SMART? IF YOU SMART THEN I ALBERT EINSTEIN. BUT OBVIOUSLY ALBERT EINSTEIN HAS PASSED ON SO I CAN NEVER BE HIM AND THUS YOU, TOO, CANNOT BE SMART.
Pls ( dont know how to spell again ) dun ( don't? you know angmoh anot? ) be offended if we correct you, cos ( cosine? i know cosine square plus sine square equals one! i smart man at least i don't try to speak math language and angmoh together. mathglish? what the shit is that ) we want you to excel.
( OK. how sacrificial of you to advise an ignorant human like me ) and i form a bad impression of you! oh no i have sinned.
please do not fart here into my phone thanks. and stop your verbal diarrhoea. you may be smart but you are obviously not a human being. if i ever compare myself to you it will be like hey look at me i prettier than that cat there! the cat cannot use mascara but i can! and im taller than the cat. and i also got long pretty hair! i smell like lavender and roses but the cat smell of soil and drains! in conclusion more people will talk to me instead of the cat! YAY.
what the shit is this. freaking funny.
makes me laugh like crazy to myself.
i am not going to be offended, more like amused right. because i have a higher literacy rate than you, higher human development index ( duh coz you are of a totally different species altogether ). and everything you say that might feel like a witty insult to others is going to come back 6 x 10^23 back to you.
do not think even for one second that money is everything. at least do not think YOUR MONEY is everything. other people money, maybe yes. but not yours. coz you use a different currency. ( you not human ) spending alot of money on your friends does not mean that you can insult them and treat them like pangsai.
sometimes we feel guilty when we talk or even think bad about you but you have the freaking amazing talent to take away all compassion we have for you.
be that way.
i will talk in mature way. i will have sensitive response to mankind. yes.
i want my existence to be a significant one.
anyway i quite angry with this human in my species lah. is she the same species as me? i think she is a rare species and must be analysed by professionals.
because she talk weirdly. lets analyse this ( i am not going to emphasize it because i am not a professional and thus should not act like one and highlight stuff that is not confirmed as important/worthy of human attention. ) i care for the eyes of my readers.
so here goes:
I want to salvage our friendship. ( note the failed attempt at the use of cheem english! )
But we have to work together. ( what this is a job meh? under primary/secondary/tertiary/quaternary industry? )
I know you cant stand it when _________and I talk about studies, perhaps you feel left out. ( coz i am so much smarter than you, duh. thats why you bore me and i leave myself out coz i am so much more interesting than you so i go talk to myself. dont even need to waste saliva because i can communicate telepathically and improve my angmoh coz i contemplate. and note the missing apostrophe at the cant? whats cant? cunt? dont know how to use basic angmoh still use salvage. ) WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU VEH SMART? IF YOU SMART THEN I ALBERT EINSTEIN. BUT OBVIOUSLY ALBERT EINSTEIN HAS PASSED ON SO I CAN NEVER BE HIM AND THUS YOU, TOO, CANNOT BE SMART.
Pls ( dont know how to spell again ) dun ( don't? you know angmoh anot? ) be offended if we correct you, cos ( cosine? i know cosine square plus sine square equals one! i smart man at least i don't try to speak math language and angmoh together. mathglish? what the shit is that ) we want you to excel.
( OK. how sacrificial of you to advise an ignorant human like me ) and i form a bad impression of you! oh no i have sinned.
please do not fart here into my phone thanks. and stop your verbal diarrhoea. you may be smart but you are obviously not a human being. if i ever compare myself to you it will be like hey look at me i prettier than that cat there! the cat cannot use mascara but i can! and im taller than the cat. and i also got long pretty hair! i smell like lavender and roses but the cat smell of soil and drains! in conclusion more people will talk to me instead of the cat! YAY.
what the shit is this. freaking funny.
makes me laugh like crazy to myself.
i am not going to be offended, more like amused right. because i have a higher literacy rate than you, higher human development index ( duh coz you are of a totally different species altogether ). and everything you say that might feel like a witty insult to others is going to come back 6 x 10^23 back to you.
do not think even for one second that money is everything. at least do not think YOUR MONEY is everything. other people money, maybe yes. but not yours. coz you use a different currency. ( you not human ) spending alot of money on your friends does not mean that you can insult them and treat them like pangsai.
sometimes we feel guilty when we talk or even think bad about you but you have the freaking amazing talent to take away all compassion we have for you.
be that way.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
smart
i feel that i am very smart. i have been thinking very deeply just now. like contemplating my future my history etc. and i did not just think it. I CONTEMPLATED. like i used cheem words to think my thoughts. well. so i feel smart lah can. then i thought of oxymorons and felt veh smart as i try to imagine. no cannot imagine. as i tried to hallucinate. So cheem. like i never heard silence this loud before! its is a stark disparity. omg i love cheem words and phrases. i feel like a dictionary in human form! YAY. anyway one day i will. i will be good in computer. like IT expert. then i can make nice nice virtual life. i also dont know why. maybe for me to stalk myself or something. yes. no lah i want people to stalk me. you know why? coz i am a leaf but got no body. so i need stalk. kay what. anyway. yes. i also dont know what lah. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY! ( STAMPS FOOT IN A BIMBOTIC WAY ). but i have discovered steel inside me. no one can break me because i am seeing a trauma specialist.
walao whats this man. i think is so screwed up can. why i feel so sad? wrong. only on some days do i actually feel glad that i'm alive. yup. oh yeah. today i got this weird feeling. how to describe. but weird feeling will be described weirdly. OK. so i wanted to say, how much is this? then in my head i was telling my brain just say how much is this! just say. then i was thinking how to say. will it sound very lame? why i use how? how to use how? what does how mean? so i ended up saying how. then i pause awhile with mouth open. then close again then i said much. yup. like i think the sentence then i will think deeply ( contemplate ) then hallucinate then process then produce the word. didnt know talking was so difficult! everything is a challenge to me in this globalizing world. therefore i need to diversify my knowledge!
i am going to put up and tolerate sadness and loneliness because i am better than the rest of the human population. simply because i am not human. ( INHUMAN ) i can combine words! Omg! i so cool siahx. what shit lah i dont know how to stardae anymore can. then i think think think. why no one want to talk to me? am i difficult to comprehend? yes. am i rude? yes. am i weird? yes. do i dao people after i extract required info essential for my survival from them? yes i dao them and look away. i dao because i am a dao-ist! haha. marvel at my uncanny ability to turn everything into humour! yes yes. from now on i will make an effort to use a dictionary before i think. i will not think, i am hungry. i will think, the human being is experiencing a form of hunger and requires edible substance if not her activation energy will decrease. something like that. then i will drive myself crazy.
walao whats this man. i think is so screwed up can. why i feel so sad? wrong. only on some days do i actually feel glad that i'm alive. yup. oh yeah. today i got this weird feeling. how to describe. but weird feeling will be described weirdly. OK. so i wanted to say, how much is this? then in my head i was telling my brain just say how much is this! just say. then i was thinking how to say. will it sound very lame? why i use how? how to use how? what does how mean? so i ended up saying how. then i pause awhile with mouth open. then close again then i said much. yup. like i think the sentence then i will think deeply ( contemplate ) then hallucinate then process then produce the word. didnt know talking was so difficult! everything is a challenge to me in this globalizing world. therefore i need to diversify my knowledge!
i am going to put up and tolerate sadness and loneliness because i am better than the rest of the human population. simply because i am not human. ( INHUMAN ) i can combine words! Omg! i so cool siahx. what shit lah i dont know how to stardae anymore can. then i think think think. why no one want to talk to me? am i difficult to comprehend? yes. am i rude? yes. am i weird? yes. do i dao people after i extract required info essential for my survival from them? yes i dao them and look away. i dao because i am a dao-ist! haha. marvel at my uncanny ability to turn everything into humour! yes yes. from now on i will make an effort to use a dictionary before i think. i will not think, i am hungry. i will think, the human being is experiencing a form of hunger and requires edible substance if not her activation energy will decrease. something like that. then i will drive myself crazy.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Back to May
Last year this day this time I had one of the best days of my life. Following which were a series of happiness and sorrow. Lets go back to May. Feels just like yesterday can remember it freaking clearly. Yes traumatizing haunting. Why give me just to take it all away after a few months. Speaking of which at least I have had haded. But now its all gone. If you ever come back? Do you prefer having had but then losing everything. But at least you had right? But isnt it sad if one day you were king and the people were worshipping you and at your feet and the next day you're in rags and starving and sleeping on the streets and the very people who were worshipping you yesterday are spitting at you now? Would it be better if you were a beggar all your life? Then you would never have experienced the life of a king and would thus never yearn for it and live in confusion the rest of your life (what have I done to deserve this? I did not get to show the people what a good king I could be. Why am I a beggar now? Why wont you give me a chance?) It would spare you from all the heartbreak and tears and frustration and time wasted pondering what you have done to deserve such a fate. At least you would be complete. You would be happy. Now I am shattered.
With you, I have/had(?) the best days of my life. Now its all gone.
With you, I have/had(?) the best days of my life. Now its all gone.
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