my mother says this. from now on i am not going to talk to you anymore and i wont answer anything you say to avoid quarrels
fucking fuck fuck
so it has become once again my fault. my fucking fault.
and i have to live with it and accpet it because i am not fucking crippled or whatever shit.
my mother can just go out like at 7pm and not care about dinner for sister and me.
then she comes in at 1145pm and nobody can fucking say shit.
and she can fucking scold me coz she pays for my stuff.
shit. money again is like the most important thing in the universe.
she win.
i shall go out everyday and not tell her too.
yes i will.
i shall do everything she does not like.
coz she has not given a shit about me once.
she thinks that. i am unable to live without her. what the shit. i can oks.
i am still like alive, even after months of you not making food for me.

why am i alive.
once i am dead right.
everything i want will actually come true.
why cant i like get leukemia or something.

then i no need go school.
i no need do math.
i no need think.
coz i got excuse.
then nobody can scold me ever again.
COZ I GOT TERMINAL DISEASE.

but apparently i no have.