i am very sad, how?
like do i deserve to be happy. deserve to have nice things. deserve nice mother. deserve nice family.
no right.
i is beggar. beg for shelter and food. beg for education. then beg for clothes. beg for love. beg for people to talk to.
my mother scold me again. she say i cannot use laptop. but she watch tv for very long. then when she come out she immediately say off computer. the only thing she said to me the whole day. not you eat already. your school how. no. is off the computer.
so i say why, a while more can . she say cannot. so i say i blog a while only can. she say how many words. i say 700 words. she say off it now. i say ok 600 words. she say off it now. i say 500 words. then she scream and off the computer switch and internet switch, i am going to cancel the internet, she says. then i say okay. then she scream again. off it nowwww. then i say ITS OFFING ALREADY WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT. then she beat my face and beat the laptop. louder some more she screams. not loud enough is it. i use microphone you want! i shout back. then she beat the laptop again. then cannot take it already i say, i cant take it you beat somemore man, hahahaha. then she say i am going to cancel the internet.

she is scold me everyday. i dont like stay here. here is hell. i want go out. i want sleep outside. i dont want stay here, here cannot think. cannot breathe. cannot alone.
i dont like my parents. they is veri veri bad.
scold me everyday. they keep say they not obliged give me money give me food give me school.
is not like i want stay here. not like i want be related to them. i want be somebody else. i hate me.
why like that. why i do deserve like that.