i rot and then i die i got one life and i screwed it and no one is going to cry at my funeral because i didnt touch anyone's life. i will die quietly. isnt that good? thats peaceful. its not good to contribute to noise pollution. haha. i disgust myself.
what if one day i have to talk to my furniture? what if one day i am all alone and no one gives a shit about me anymore? this are perfectly good reasons to want to die.
because if i cannot pass the freaking math/physics test i cannot calculate my worth as a human being and therefore will die. and the stupid physics teacher should be banished from moe. i hate her. but i keep laughing whenever she scolds me. she scolded someone can you dont be so irritating just because he asks questions. it is so obvious because she is stumped for words and is too ashamed to admit it. okay fuck i need to go and rationalize my surds and learn about the norm so i can live by the word of god and stop committing blasphemy. shit i hate this. my life is a complete screw up.
i dont know what im doing on this earth but it doesnt matter because im going to die. it gets harder everyday and then theres facebook to remind me of the sucker that i am. why do i still go on facebook? what the fuck is wrong with me? why am i giving singtel my money? why do i have a phone? it just makes my life depressing that no one messages me and i always have to go start a conversation. and my mother says im going to get brain cancer from that phone. yeah i already have brain cancer theres a freaking tumour inside the brain that is giving the hand weird thoughts to type here. i must practice. i must practice to stop talking to people to stop staring at the stupid phone wishing it will ring or what kay fuck
the church keeps telling us that we have to change lives. transform lives. i cannot do that lah. i dont deserve to go to church for services like a freeloader. anyway i am looking for excuses to not go to church i know, look at the sucker i am
and then i dont know why all this shit is happening what the shit have i done i know i have done alot of shit and i am in very very deep solidified shit i cant get out anymore i dont want to be alive because math and physics is compulsory, fml fml fml.
i am alive for all the wrong purposes. i know i am going to live with regrets. i know it. i am going to regret my life. i need to quick go die. if only it were that easy right. why am i online? why? and why are some persons talking to me? it is always like that they talk to me for a while out of fucking obligation then they run out of stuff to say then i also got nothing to say what since they already found out what they wanted right, like i am a freaking experiment/specimen for their boredom or something right so throw away after i have been analysed haha i am this sour sour person who cannot see good in anything i shamelessly need somebody to come and talk to me hahaha how ironic is that okay i need to shut the fuck up and rationalize surds byebye i havent studied done any homework at all i will die anyway my death is supposed to be a good thing but then all the preachings will have been wasted on me and the precious resources i have used but it is better to die earlier if not i would be wasting more of these resources. i am not worthy of these resources. WHY MUST I RATIONALIZE SURDS. and what happy birthday. the day i was born was the day tragedy started. it should be sadie birthday or something.
okay and lastly its JOEYLEE'S birthday today. happy birthday gay <3 i love you forever haha. (:
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