At least I havent been told to fuck off yet. There is nowhere to run already. Like each day I am waiting for the terrible thing to happen to me. Wait and wait. And get scared and freaked. I wish I hadnt done so many things. And know what to do now. I have experienced the highest form of rejection. I must stop talking shit. I disgust myself. Again I cant seem to fuck off. I am the lowest form of life. Really I feel like a parasite. I wish I was the host instead.
All I ever wanted was for a simple way to communicate with you. haha. I dont want be in the state of emptiness and solitude and parasitcness now. I want to talk properly too. And be understood that I know my limits. Doesnt matter to people anymore. Doesnt bother them. How. I hate me too, I want to be a baby again. At least they can communicate properly. Okay. As long as I have food to eat clothes to wear place to sleep. Nothing else matters already.