today is the saddest day of my life.
i realise no one is ever going to give a shit about me and they cannot give a shit about me even though they want to,
it is damn obvious already, no one is obliged to love me let alone give a fuck about me.
there is no love.
it has evaporated and cannot condense because there is a drought and a long period of dry weather. fuck it.
i dont want to go to heaven then come back down to hell again.
i rather stay in hell forever.
there is no use being happy. there is no need to pursue happiness because the pursuit of happiness is what makes us miserable in the first place.
if only we stopped trying to be happy. we'd have a pretty good time.
but i try so fucking hard to get what is not meant to be.
screw me. my life is so fucked lah.
today i went to the saddest place in the universe. and i go there and i wanted to die so fucking badly lah, then i started to sleep. sleep. shui jiao. how can i do that right, i cannot be a proper human being, i cannot live properly. i cannot meet expectations, i am far behind. i am lost. i am gone. now i dont understand a single thingi hate math. i hate it. hate it. i will go and sleep with my books. then i can become smarter. i have a serious incurable disease. its called retardation. hmmz. fuck life.