How much does a fucking bus ride from pasir ris to yishun cost. I am student lah! The stupid bus driver says its SEVENTY FIVE CENTS. What the hell lah! :-( okay nevermind since sbs has been really nice to me last time, that time I didnt have credit in my card (credit card!) And no money in my wallet, so I just told that piece of fact sadly to the bus driver and he let me sit bus for free. Okay. I am lucky and blessed.

Today I was walking on the road. Then I started to thinking, man on foot and man in car tread the same surface. Then I felt nice cause I was able to walk upon such hard sturdy surface just like a car. Okay anyway I must talk about today. Update about my life in case of rare cases of interested parties. So today I had a tuition lesso which requires me to drag my tender ass to the house of teacher. However I was with two people drawing for lifegroup at about 11am plus. So draw draw draw until 1pm and had to rush to blardy lesson. But havent draw finish. So I smsed the teacher politely, hey sorry teacher can my friend wait in your house later when I have lesson. Then the teacher replied, sorry not tdy. I hv visitor. Living room will be occupied. (What visitor, king kong ah) can she wait 4 u at somewhere else? So I became very sad, because how can I leave my friend alone with the project things? So I tried asking again, she really cannot come in? Then the reply scolded me lah. I hv visitor! Can you understand that this is not a public place and you cannot bring in anyone as you wish! (Like I am bringing in a barbarian or something) if you cant bear to leave yourfriend behind, then cancel lesson! Since your friend is more important than lesson ( note the sarcasm glaring blindingly from the words ) what the hell. Like I have committed a terrible, heinous crime! So I apologised in order to make peace. Okay sorry I am reaching soon. I says. Then I reached 15minutes late cause my speed was affected by inhuman accusations. Perhaps this is the storm before the rainbow. Thinks I naively. Perhaps something great will happen soon. However that was not the case. Your mother thinks you have an attitude problem and wants to cancel your lesson. Says she, breaking the heartbreaking news to me. I was very sad and angry and sorrowful that my life turned out this way. And did I mention that I saw no visitors. No one. None. And I resisted the surging wave of desperation to say, is your visitor too shy to reveal himself/herself or is he wearing the invisibility cloak. Or too microscopic to be seen by the naked eye. Are you hiding a fugitive!
She has made it seem like I am delibrately making things difficult for me. But I did not. Why in the flying fuck. Why.

sardines

Hi. I just found out that cooked fish has a special name for it. Its called sardine. I am amazed at myself for this great discovery. Next I must discover the name for cooked chicken. Or I can invent it. Kay bye.

today is the saddest day of the saddest year on my entire life.
*i know no one gives a shit but this is for my own reference can?*(quote)
yea anyway i want nice fresh foods form cold storage.
its from the fresh food people.
i want to be just like them.
i feel like i am not in my own skin.
i have awkward incidences when going out which is very sad.
i must cease all going out activities at once and retreat to the safe haven of my space.
and theres this very nice teddy bear crayon on the fram of the wall in the house. i think it has been there for like 10 years already.
i like old things. they are like historical artefacts. it has rich culture and is highly valued.
i think i am thinking in pieces. like the thought are unrelated one. like one minute i think of cold storage then the next i think of a book i want to read. or like, why is uncooked fish called fish and cooked fish still called fish but uncooked pig is called pig and cooked pig is pork. idk why, like idk everything else. probably doesnt have an answer hor.
oh yes. i did something very not nice a few days ago. i will record it down here so it might be referred to as a source next time.
a few days ago i was loitering by myself at bishan looking for nice things to spend money on because the money was putting a considerable weight on me. so i came across nice shops like gift a name, artbox, mini toons etc. decided to go into all the shops and finally decided to buy a leather strap with my sister's name on it as it was going to be her birthday on 13 dec. so i choose the beads for like 30 minutes, then choose the strap for like 10 min, choose the accesories to dangle from it for another 20 min. yes very long right. then the bill become until 22.90! which was like so super ridiculously skyrockethigh! so i ask the woman to take out one dangling accesory which was like 3.90. okay then the bill become 18.90 which is still like very very great and will leave me with no food for the next one week. so . but thats not the point so i told her o take out another accesory and she was like pissed. 'wei shen me ni xian zai cai jiang wo yi jing chuan cheng yi chuan hao le leh ' grumpy pissed off look. so i said okay okay bu yao jing lah sorry sorry, then she just stalked off and take it out. then i paid 14.40 in thed end but i said sorry and thankyou! and she never acknowledge it.
i can never go there again. she recognises me.
i can never show my face man.
i think it would be nice lah, if we can have different faces to wear on hor, then can see how people treat you when you got different face. then can see their true colours. true colours is good, its waterproof. and very very good quality.
i think i dream what i see. last night i was watching this japanese occupation show for 24 plus hours then i dreamt of some war-ry thing.
quite nice.
like if you know you is in dream then you can do anything you want! very cool right.
oh yeah then i watch the cai hua heng yi chu xin xiu show! they asked one of the contestants this question, who's secret do you want to know the most. then the guy said, my own secrets. because i dont know what i thinking of sometimes so if i know my own secrets then i can solve some problems (or something like that)
i doesnt understand his answer siahx. it doesnt make sense i think. i think he too nervous or something
but anyway after pondering about this question i think my answer is, i want to know russell lee's secrets the most!:)
i want to see how he looks like and how he write the ghost stories is it real one anot.
and.
i still cannot do math.
poor poor me.

I feel as if my teeth are going to drop off. :-( it is a sad dark lonely night and I have only books bed and walls for companion. Gosh poor me. What else is new? And as I sit and stone many many thoughts, invisible to the naked eye, are running through my mind. Should I go and bathe now? Once I heard a legend that if you bathe after midnight, like from 1am to 4am or something you will see things in the mirror. But its scary to bathe without sight. I am afraid to attempt this challenge. I am terribly frightened. Some people have also said that we should only wash our hair only once every two days because all the nutrients and vitamins will be washed off and hair fall condition will worsen. But it feels weird to not bathe for one whole day! And its freaky to stand alone in the toilet with the mirror open. What if once open the eyes see wrong thing is very heart attacky. Oh also if worry too much will have shorter life or something. Acherly is not a terrible thing, got one comprehension passage in the sec 3 eoy higher chinese paper says that all humans should die when they reach forty plus cause after part that age life will be meaningless cause we our worry about more worries. Wont it be good if we can dry wash ourselves? Last time got this place where everybody can bathe together also (have read about it in novels). Bathing is like a very important event! My mother is very cute today! I said she is selfish because she watched some hk drama without me ( no regrets or something, has been watching it for 25++ hours already however she is in sleep land now so I am left all alone, always alone. Yeah so she replied in my language! Haa she said I sell fish but alot people come and buy! Very cheap leh. You also got sell right! Hoho I think the drama makes her very very over the moon! And we have a common topic to discuss away happily. My grandmother also always discuss 爱with her friends! Will I discuss these with acquaintances in the near future? I want to have smart conversations. Hohos. Usually everything I say to some people will turn into some kind of argument. So I would practice both sides of arguments with myself in the safety of singularity. Yupyupyupp. Bye bye. I wish I can have voice to scream in my dream later on. And I dont want to be singular, solo alone anymore. I want to evolve to plural, duet, group, clique. Kay. Isnt it horrid to dwell on such conceited thoughts? Everyone should ponder about environmental issues global warming financial crisis? And do different basins and different taps produce different types of water? We all must constantly ponder over such daily problems to keep mentally active and challenged. It is a matter of urgency. I am sad.

I have a lot of shit in my eyes . Like after a bad dream or something the eyes will start to shit excessively. So today I has a bad dream and it started like this lah. (I remembered parts of it only) I wanted to go back to china and buy this very nice bookmark and bag and alot of stuff, so I took mrt to bugis cause in my dream bugis looks alot like china. Ok so I was there with my father and we were buying street food and eating happily. I think. But the place was quite dark and scary. Then go back to the hotel right. And then the scary part is the toilet is flooded and I wanted to shit. And the toilet is very close to each other so if I squat at one toilet my leg will sink into the other toilet. So I didnt get to shit in the end. Then I dont know why but I was kidnapped or something in the toilet, then I saw someone I know, and he asked me to shout(?) With my gums or teeth. So I used my tongue to point at my teeth. I dont know why the dreams doesnt make sense! But it was a very long dream like from eleven pm to ten pm. Then I started shouting in my sleep its very scary when you cannot shout for help cause you voice is lost due to shock. Then my mother came in (the real life mother) and ask me what happened so I just groaned and went back to sleep. The next part of the dream I went to a bread shop to look for a job because they put up a notice but when I asked then they told me to go away because they had another worker already(it was a about ten year old boy in rollerskates!) So I was very sad then I went to fast done restaurant to study thinking to choose kfc or macs. So I chose kfc, cause its cheaper and the chicken is very nice (why is cooked chicken still called chicken and cooked pig lamb cow called pork mutton beef?) poor chicken right it doesnt have a special name. But at kfc I saw someone I know, so I went to macs instead. And bu macs I bought a mc spicy which was in the form of a drumstick! And I asked for curry sauce but the packet was only a quarter filled and mixed with alot of water. And in the end I didnt study and just stoned there until I woke up(with as much shit in my eyes when I was born) I think.

My mother is very horrid. I do not like her anymore. She said I must do math/science homework first then I can go out. So I do-ed many homeworks. Its logarithms and trigonometry. Very super duper hard and difficult. However I still did it ok. Then I showed her. And she said. That one is last time do one. AS IF SHE EVEN SEE ME DO IT BEFORE. Each time I does my homework she is not even there. And yet she can talk like this! And she see the date on the foolscap, '30.11.10' wah that one call yesterday do ah. Says she. So I explains earnestly, no that one I did one question on 30.11.10, then I finished it yesterday. Then she say how I know? PROVE IT. What the shit lah! So I tells her, you need shi jian zheng ren is it, ask my tutor lah! Then she said something along the lines of I dont care I wont sign you up for tuition anymore. Dont talk to me like that blah blah. So I said kay I dont care you said if I do I can go out today so I am going out kay. Then she says, yeah dont talk to me ask me do anything for you ask me anything from now on I will treat you as invisible. Wow look now I got a free Invisibility Cloak. Blardy hell lah! Means I go change all the dates on my last time homework to '3.12.10' means I do alot of homework in one day lah! What the hack if keep going against me and finding fault with everything. Last time if my hair fall to the floor, like just one strand only she will scream her voicebox out at me. Therefore I will go sit it out somewhere far away as possible from her. She cant miss someone who is invisible to her right. Next time if she talks to me or acknowledges me I will say, hey you can see me meh has the grass turned blue and the sky purple. Yes that is what I will says.