The salary

oh ok like wow. i mean i am seriously fucking appalled and angry and frustrated at the way things have come to. i just want to mope and sulk and cry and whine and moan about shit but hey i don't even have time for that. I have to put on t
his disgusting fake front and por the people i genuinely dislike. or 'hate' since i am so emotionally driven.

like seriously what is with the job, or the working world. it's like a hell like okay what
how come people can just slack their assess off and others have to work themselves to the bone and yet get the same pay and sometimes the slackers get more favoured by the bossess due to their skills at por-ing
so after living for 18 years and 41 days in this fucked up world i have come to the conclusion that everyone has a choice and if you have problems, you either:
1) suck it up; accept reality
2) move on
so at this job i have chosen to 1) suck it up; accept reality AKA life is unfair and I deserve it due to my inability at por-ing bla bla bla which is why i find myself washing cutlery plates etc every single fucking day (yes i am not kidding every single fucking day i swear on my A level results) while others are 'busy' with kids or supposedly more important stuff - but seriously what could be more important than washing dishes if there are no clean cutlery to use everyone would just die due to starvation, food poisoning etc etc
In order to gain the most out of it and take my da jie's very sound, very useful, amazing advice:
1) to treat everything as an experience to make you a better person to deal with challenges in the future instead of whining and complaining
because i am just a lowly part-timer and in every job the employee is supposed to clear shit for the employers not add to the employer's shit if not why would the employer hire you in the first place?
no one is going to give a fuck about what i think anyway since i 1) have no authority and 2) have only been in this job 31 days what makes me think i can do the job better than the bosses

WELL. sorry but i do think arrogantly that i can do a better job. firstly i would reduce the fucking pay of the workers like me because they really don't deserve so much for slacking and gushing at kids and sitting around eating the catered food meant for the kids but just had so much leftovers coz they are selfish'irresponsible/don't know how to estimate despite being highly educated individuals or simply do not give a shit like that

and wow i have not gotten my salary yet while the rest of my co-workers have. i mean i ran out of the house to the atm machine at fucking 11:35pm after knowing that the rest of them have received pay in the whatsapp group (mostly used to discuss frivolous things IMO) then discovering i am the unique one who wow haven't gotten the pay.  then i just had to sit on the steps and started talking to myself and just whine and wallow in self pity all over again when i'd thought i'd gotten out of the vicious cycle
there was a very nice lady who works as a beer server in the kopitiam i think who came forward and asked me " B ni ok ma"
that was really consolation to know that someone is there, thank you very much whoever you are <3 p="">
then i continued talking myself out of those feelings
another thing to note if you are reading this and are confused:

the management here is really very messy IMO again, like despite having a planned monthly schedule to abide by my supervisor alters the schedule almost everyday. and the workers work overtime for nothing, (same thing, 'busy' ing themselves with supposedly important stuff) and just like that BAM! they get paid $10 per fucking hour like that!
who wouldn't want a job like that?
so if you are free to record anytime you want its already kind of like an open cheque
i mean my co--worker (also someone i've 'known' for 12 years) can just simply tag along to duplicate keys for the centre even after her shift ended but yet still come back and record the sign out time as the time she came back from the duplication of keys with another co-worker) which is around 2 hours more so yay $20 extra pay how smart gurrrrrl
and the number of times she actually washes the dishes can be counted with all the fingers in one hand
so i have been harping on this sorry i am trying to get over it and see this as a good experience - like how i can discover the fastest way to wash plates without breaking my back
how i can discover the fastest way to multi task and please my supervisor and still teach the kids
how i can maintain my sanity and not breakdown into angry, self-piteous tears and panic attacks on a daily basis and still interact with my co-workers in a friendly way even though i am cursing at them inside (so sorry about that i just had to)
something like that
there is so much resentment
so if any of the involved parties happen to read this then wow. okay you're going to believe what you want to believe anyway and debating about the problem won't solve the problem
so what now