"I don't want to. I just don't"

" We are going to get trashed anyways"
 this was what you said to me when i asked you to train for the competition.
"we'll do it in May"
why dont you want to train now when you have time?
"because i don't want to. I just don't"
that was a month plus ago.
so if you just want to go for the competition simply for the sake of it and shame our school by debating like shit when you have the bloody potential to fucking win the competition then you might as well don't go
do you know how much it costs to send one team for the competition? if you think this is a game and its funny to screw up and laugh it off well then fuck you
fuck you for wasting my time
going to watch a movie when you're supposed to come for CCA (and your excuse? "we dont learn anything in CCA anyway") why? because you are so always playing with your phone when coach is teaching
playing phone games when you could be learning important things from coach and juniors debating
what's the point in coming for CCA?
testimonial? or just to show face?
forget it if you don't want to go, could have just told me in the first place and your place in the competition could very well be give to someone else who genuinely wants to improve and takes debating seriously.
and ignoring whatever i said, you think i like to persuade and beg and be irritating and pester you to train with me so we could all be competition-ready? is it a fucking obligation for me to beg/demand of you to do what you're supposed to be doing?
 fuck you for wasting my time and everyone else's time
and putting me through all that shit reflecting and worrying whether was I too irritating bugging you about the compeition, trying to work out a training schedule
fuck you for wasting precious days that could have been used for personal training
so just because we would lose, it's okay to not give your best?
it's okay to not come for CCA? it's okay to play with your phone when coach is teaching us important things, it's okay to watch a movie when you're supposed to come for CCA, it's okay to pon Saturday trainings with your feeble excuse of, "we don't learn anything in CCA"
fuck you for wasting everyone's efforts
i dont know if it's because we have inherently different personalities/perspectives but i think this is just plain selfish, inconsiderate, egoistic and rude