this sucks.

how do i define me.
i feel really wasted and totally screwed, like i dont know what i am doing
then i went to math tuition, and i couldnt understand a single thing, what am i to do
kay i know like fine its my own fault and all that since the start but how now its too late so how, what should i do.
there is no one to rescue me how?
my life is a horrendous, unfortunate mistake.
like, what the shit, st nicholas very good so every student there is expected to know every single shit and is forbidden to be stupid.
but i am stuck there.
what is this man.
what.
my cousin tells me that people in africa are dying of aids, their parents pass to them.
dying of starvation. girls getting raped and stuff like that.
okay but. i seriously prefer that, then like thinking of ways to end this life without like thinking of the shit consequences. arent they lucky they get to die and then be reborn and also be sympathized with.
why the hell must i live when i dont want to at all.
all those exams to sit for.
and then still have to worry about mosquito bites and facial features and weight and height. and whether other people like or hate us. what sort of patheticism is this hahahhah.
what the hell is this.
we are animals. mammals.
why cant we live like one.
then we wont destroy earth and all that, and we wont face extinction and deforestation. and water shortage and inflation and retrenchment.
kay this is nonsense i am so sorry
how .
physicsandmathtestnow.
like shit again,
dammit st nicks is supposed to produce perfect human robots who does what the society wants to perfection. stupid man. i cannot can.
please take me out and throw me away from the face of this planet.
cannot do a single shit now.
i feel stupid and horrid.
i like feeling sorrowful because it is what i am good at.
i am good at nothing else.
like the very nice tuition teacher proved it right in my stupid stupid face.
and when she called my mother to inform her of my inabilities and stupidity and laziness inattentiveness etc. then apparently my mother took away my phone and lent me her phone so she called my phone which is actually my mothers phone and i answered and told her that we switched phones then she called the other phone which is my phone but has became my mothers phone, and apparently my mother did not answer because she has put it to hibernation.
so she told me she called many many times (and asked all the other teachers to call also) and i did not answer AT ALL. so i said i did and she said right into my face four syllabus "you are lying" .
see what the heck i get scolded for telling the truth.
dammit i am going to lie truthfully from today onwards i will
and when i try my best (really) to do the question she takes one look at it and says, "thats nonsense".
thats it.

do you like living my life?
isnt it fun.
you get to hear different insults expressed in different forms everyday haha.
dont i deserve to feel sorry for myself and wallow in self pity,