i dont know what is me
why are people being nice when they are going to stop being nice one day
isnt it worse
edpecially like when they are too nice then they suddenly stop will you not feel like a reject. failure, loner.
why are people nice.
that is really horrible to do.

one day this is all going to stop and i will die.

all the nice people who are nice to me now will stop being nice then how.
ohmygod i feed on people. i feed on peoples niceness and indulge in their words and praises and company man.
what the fuck correct. this is disgusting.
and thus it is how i am.

i cannot stop.