okay yah lah so anyway i damn pissed now. look whos miss pissy. yes me.
anyway today at library we had karaoke session! :D got songs like scissor sisters the beatles etc very naise. (Y) this symbol like represent something like very nice like that. makes me look cool also so i use it lor. ya ya. then the night study so many fireflies so i killed a few off. ya. but nevertheless. library is so fun. librarians can sing so well. like even oldies like beatles and scissor sisters and cao meng! (Y) (Y). sh0 happieeeee. but still i quite pissed because my name isnt written in the Book Of Life. this is so sad. i am so alone even when i talk to myself. even when i tell myself jokes it isnt funny anymore. perhaps i am the joke now. walao what can i do to not deserve this? but i very angry i want to talk about it to the blog and tell the world wide web. so i say a little prayer and hope my dreams will take me there. to see you once again my love. but no. anyway yeah the pe teacher scold me today lahh. everyday scold me coz i cannot run at the speed of light. then i complained at the last round lor. but i really got stomach egg lor. and i want to go toilet. but cannot must run finish first. even if you going to die must run finish then can die. okay neh mind. then must jump over some canteen benches. damn scary hor okay. like training circus animals without insurance! so i dare not jump and the teacher keep screaming. stop your nonsense blah blah dont always take the easy way out full of nonsense you continue like this you will get a stupid concussion. so i say back but its easy leh! and the stupid concussion make me stupid so i dont need come school lah got eternal mc. or get dc ( death certificate ). yes so unlucky right. i feel so sorry for myself lah. then i go and do my Olevel spa freaking wrongly. so today is the saddest day of my generation. in my family's history. and i got no one to share with you know? i only got me and myself. thats two friends. okay i make do with them first. yah so i effing pissed today. because got people like insult me. but is it i deserve it coz of the stupid way i carry myself. anyway nice people wont what. or they should like cant be bothered with me. so i quite angry anyway and want to explode like a volcano meets a tornado!
okay read this conversation.
so we were talking crap. then someone said this. ' i came in to st nicks through dsa hockey. ' ( because oral topic was tell me about a time when something didnt go as you planned. ) so i think the candidate wanted to talk about how she came in through dsa and academic results didnt go as planned. but its all made up lah its like a persona. but its okay what oral is not like must tell the truth what. you think national geographic or channel news asia is it. this is the noose man! anyway back to the reply of my source of anger. the examiner replied. 'hahahahahaha you dont even look like hockey player man. ' walao what talking you. you trying to say i not tanned not sporty enough? is it. or i cannot run properly or cannot throw ball or whatever. anyway i think its damn fucking insulting. but being the considerate 温文尔雅高贵大方 girl i am i never say anything lah. but now i very angry and i want to say this to youuu. the examiner. EH YOU DONT EVEN LOOK LIKE GIRL HOW YOU GET IN TO GIRLS SCHOOL AH. walao seriously i think even boys school dont want accept you because you dont look male also. look something like an in between like plastic surgery gone wrong? i suggest you go to the hospice and spend the rest of your life under the care of the nice social workers because you is going to die of fugliness soon.
theres a disease on your face called ugly. ( terminal disease )
like who are you to talk about others in such a derogatory manner when you are so much worse than them perhaps if you had shut up you would not seem so ugly anymore?
dont make your face look uglier than it already is. the reasons why people insult other people is only got two. is one. which applies to you hor. because they feel insecure about themselves and hence see the need to bring others down so that they can feel better. perverse no? or number two. which applies to me. because they want to give you a taste of your own medicine lor. even when you stand on the weighing machine and lets say it shows like 66kg you would blame the weighing machine for being faulty. whats this. why dont you just accept that you were born this way? ( Lady Gaga even dedicated a song to you ) what the heck.
okay. if next time i got no job you ( also confirm wont have one lah coz i so smart so pretty so tall so slim so sociable so kind no job leh how can you the complete opposite find a job unless got one job that requires english/chinese speaking animals)and i partner sure can earn alot money because everything you say is like a joke. and me blessed abundantly with this great sense of humour can make witty remarks about the things that come out of your mouth. ( refer above )
okay yup hence i end my rants-ing and the above story is completely fictional and bears no reference to characters living or dead any resemblance is a phenomenon because such a human being shouldnt exist in society. believing me is like believing Mount Faber is a mountain.
yah lah even though i rant finish still so miserable. eeyer. ):
am i being treated like sai? but sai is meant to be treated like sai what. but if you care for the sai right it can become fertiliser. so if you treat like a bad terrible fuck up lovingly etc one day the fuck up will become useful to you. dont give up on me. i'll meet you when my chores are done i dont know how long i'll be there but darling i'll never let you down darling wait and see. aiya all this is what i can remember. made a wrong turn once or twice dug my way out blood and fire.
so how. like tell me why lah. dont live me hanging. fun is it. tell me why you like that. why you so cold? the only thing i can do is meet you in my dreams or something? yah lah sound like a despo bitch i know. i need a slap and a stab too.
then dont have respect for me lah. not many people in this world do anyway. dont need respect. i not discipline mistress.
i might have been in love before but it never felt this strong.
eventually people will grow out of the things/people they love what right.
what if youre making me all that i was meant to be?
what about now? what about today? what if our love never went away? what if its lost behind words we could never find?
what happened to if you'd live positively enough we'd see?
now we're not even talking. and i tread the fragile catwalk between us.
yes i know there is no us but this is for my own reference can.
and the mosquito like to bite me alot nowadays. have i become sweeter?
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