i dont like facebook. it makes me feel exceedingly lonely.
photos of happy people in happy groups in happy schools engaging in happy activities and having happy smiles.
and i am not in those pictures.
like a loner.
like if maybe got photos of sad people in sad groups in sad schools engaging in saddening activities having sad smiles then facebook would be a more wonderful platform to socialize right.
RIGHT.
and i didnt go for MG outing ): should have gone though. i am so so sorry lah they bought tickets for me and i didnt go because i didnt feel like. shit lah i am like a blardy asshole wtf. dont know what people think of me last time but now shit lah now i am no longer seen as a good person. never was.
what to do what to do what to do. on one hand i want to be included in outings but now i am invited i dont wanna go? this is nonsense. i want to migrate away lah. start of on the wrong foot. and the wrong hand also. everything wrong. oh crap fml. everyone is loving their jcs and having their jcs love them back but i am the other way round. i am exceedingly screwed up in every way imaginable. oh gosh i hate myself can i be reborned?
so many of people have undergone exceptional revolution in their respective junior colleges but i am still same old. have not found any breakthrough in life yet, am not going to find my potential anytime soon ):
biggest regret of life? so many biggest regrets.
yes i get the theory of ' its nice to have people around, but its not necessary '
like i have to keep note of what i say/do when there's people around but if i'm just lazing around in my habitat then i can do anything i want, for example shit in my bed or something.
how now holy brown cow
two years of bliss or torture
how can i change my attitude to adapt to the new environment. the odds are against me. the evens are against me too. whoa me versus everyone
oh my shit god how how amen lord heavenly father please help me i am so sorry and regretful that i only turn to you in times of need and even show disrespect and insicerity by typing out a prayer online. i am sorry for thinking bad and selfish thoughts about you can you punish me. i am so so so sorry. how can i atone and repent
must i give up something precious to me.
i am a shameless woman.
can you forgive me oh lord god