hello friends

so today was a day i interacted with my long time friends, Fear, Rejection and Disappointment. they are my three best friends.
and then i have this friend who says she always reads the shit i blog, and says that it helps her pass her GP. hahaha thank you for appreciating my shit. like how can anyone understand whatever shit this means let alone help academically. like its so weird.
in order to make the blog useful for people who read (or read it to pass GP haha) i think i should start blogging thematically. each day's events should be classified under themes of my life. although the themes would revolve around fear rejection and disappointment anyway. so there's only 3 themes.
ok so here goes.
today i thought of climbing the school gate to get into the school but decided against it coz of the potential danger and i am a coward so i just let myself be late this is the 2nd time by the way and the first thing the teacher notices is my skirt length she says it's too short and i just gave this stoic expression and she was like
'your skirt is too short' *frowns*
'do something about it now' (what, add material below?)
'you roll right? i know you roll! pull it down!' (what the fuck)
'left few more months only, do you want to buy a new skirt? if not pull it down!'
i really wanted to say i got a growth spurt only this morning therefore i became like 8 cm taller hence the skirt looks 'short' according to her standards.
and i dont get it, are we all supposed to have long flowy skirts in order to look prim and proper and neat and ready for school, like a good student.
are we supposed to look like we have zero fashion sense. like simply coz its a uniform it has to look oversized on us
and then i told my other friend about this skirt thing and she said she wore a shorter skirt than mine before but was not caught. coz better looking people get away with things more easily and people with fucked up faces like me have to get scolded and condemned
on another note i guess i have stable results then classmates think i am smart and shit and ask my for help but i am actually a poser and this is just beginner's luck
now there is more pressure and expectation to do well
it's really stupid and tiring and i just want to curl up and die
and then i repaired a laptop at the ASUS service centre and microsoft office is wiped out so the laptop is pointless now and i feel really empty
and anyway i am v angry about the uniform thing but there is nothing i can do anyway (ironically the school told us to give them constructive feedback about the system) but they are gonna argue against whatever feedback we have anyway, they are still gonna do what they want so really what's the point of all this? they are still gonna think that long flowy skirts are what defines a good student. and they still judge by looks.
so i've learnt to keep quiet.
and become emotionally unavailable.