its enough of using online mass media to destroy someone's reputation and ultimately, their life. like all those defamatory posts about ministers, schools, corporations etc. oh well. just have to bear in mind that 'the corporation is bigger than you (the blogger) '
i had to delete my blog because of the obscenities and vulgarities i posted about my school which my vice principal found out. i think she read my blog and i think many other pjc-related people did too.
( students, teachers, principals, staff members etc ) i admit that my blog uses very harsh language and has no filter. i just type whatever shit i want to say and that's wrong because i am defaming someone/a corporation, a group of people
the vp warned me about disciplinary action that could be taken against me and i know that i am basically screwed if she uses this blog against me i would not get a good job (define good here) would be looked down upon by members of Singapore's education system et cetera.
i hope by posting this post i am not offending any pjc people. i hope that my conduct grade (my character, my person, my entire being hinges on this) will not go down. i hope i still can prove my worth the normal proper way (academics, participation in school etc). i have taken down the previous posts - almost all the posts in the year 2012 because most of them were about unhappiness about pjc. i blogged about how much i hated every thing about this school, the debates society, the teachers, the principal, the people, the school rules. i guess i really hated it last year. i remember crying one day after the stupid debates exco interview and feeling so fucking pathetic and humiliated and no one was there to listen, how my civics tutor scolded me for only donating $2 for the walk-a-thon (donation drive) and compared me to people under the FAS who donated $25 dollars. why is my ability to donate based on my eligibility for the FAS. so now i have applied for the FAS, does this mean i am exempted from donating to charity? i do not understand this logic. although the reason i did not donate much was because i did not like this school back then. i remember how the discipline guy (i think that's who he is) marked about 60++ of us late for school one day when we reached the gate at 7:42am and the reporting time was and still is 7:45 am 'in the parade ground for Flag Raising'. i believe thanks to the rigorous physical education lessons we have for 1 hour twice a week we would make it to the parade ground on time. how the admin lady in the general office scolds the students for the stupidest things and holds up their time when they are rushing off to attend to urgent matters and needs her to approve their sign out forms quickly but she refuses to. how the debates teachers rarely turned up for our cca meetings and competitions, how we never get chances to participate much in cca. how the teachers who are described as 'caring' 'dedicated' and 'committed' didnt bother giving us consultations, and when i asked him questions, said ' can i mutilate myself with this pen' and asked other students to help him instead.
now i try my best to understand the subject with minimal help from him since i make him want to kill himself.
i dont know what will become of me in my remaining time here. i hope i stop screwing up and watch what i do and say from now on because i know i am being monitored and i will seriously die if i say shit again
i know i should stop being petty about small stuff and try to be happy in school. but i cannot pretend things don't happen when they so obviously did. how can i be oblivious to all these things. i dont like teachers to waste time during lessons but i sleep during their lessons so i cannot complain. so i'll just accept things the way they are. if i have stomachache suay suay just before school and i am late coz i need to shit i'll just not go to school and take mc for that day because being late can seriously affect your testimonial and your conduct grade and most likely a local university education. and i doubt the discipline guy would accept reasons like these.
sometimes i feel so stupid and unaccepted and different from all the people here. i do not know how to engage in their conversations and i do not know of the current events that take place in the school.
i don't feel close to people and i dont know what to do with my life here and the principal keeps going on about the testimonial and its not that i dont want to do anything but its because no one want to let me do anything except when its stuff you dont get credit for then they won't want to do and i'll do it because that was what happened during cca fair this year, a group of us were to decorate the debates board and many just didnt turn up'/forget to bring the necessary things for the board and the board looked so empty though i tried my best to decorate it i printed the stuff and carried the stuff to and from school because people didnt bother staying back to help the least people could do is to do their part and make the board look like what it's supposed to be
am i supposed to ignore this? i am supposed to be un-angry and unaffected by irresponsible people right, because i am not perfect myself. so does a judge have to right to persecute a molester for example, if he himself has molested someone before ( and gotten away with it which is why he could become a judge now and has changed his ways for the better) yes something like that
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