i am the strong. must not try to be humane in this inhuman place.
must be selfish and work solely for my own benefits.
do not like to be in this place everyday must come back as late as possible to avoid contact with fuckmily members.
am going to find a job and live in the workplace.
most preferably as a maid then i can get a new house and free food.
and something closer to a family.
anyone want to hire me pleasy please pleases pleasing please?
dilligent, hardworking, strong interpersonal skills. good in cleaning.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
angry feelings
everyday i am being scolded one way or another in this fuckmily. i am going to walk and run and crawl shuffle away soon. i hate this place. rude fuckeers
this auntie or so called because she has very rarely done her job as one. came and shouted like a freaking barbarian at me the human being just now and hence i am very angry however this not being my house in name i cannot retort in any way. so i tried my very best to pissify her and be rude to the largest extent.
lets name the aunt it.
It : i do not want to hear your voice outside my room ( fuckhole more like ) at night okay. menacingly.
me: *turns back to computer*
It: WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU LOOK AT ME! then she takes angry loud small steps forward threatening to hit me. but i am trying my best not to be intimidated.
It: make me want to hit you
me: was that a question? it was more like an instruction
It; its a question! WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME STAND HERE AND MAKE ME WAIT FOR YOU TO SAY YOU GET IT
stupid fucker are you so insecure that you need me to PROMISE you. do you want to hook pinkies?
LIKE I CAN SAY NO? I WANT YOU TO HEAR MY VOICE OUTSIDE YOUR ROOM ( aka FUCKHOLE )
me; okay i get it.
NOW FUCK OFF. insecure fucker
i hope you imagine my voice in your dreams and hallucinate
my voice is everywhereeeeee
once again this is not a family but a fuckmily. the one and only in the whole wide world. A FUCKMILY.
this auntie or so called because she has very rarely done her job as one. came and shouted like a freaking barbarian at me the human being just now and hence i am very angry however this not being my house in name i cannot retort in any way. so i tried my very best to pissify her and be rude to the largest extent.
lets name the aunt it.
It : i do not want to hear your voice outside my room ( fuckhole more like ) at night okay. menacingly.
me: *turns back to computer*
It: WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU LOOK AT ME! then she takes angry loud small steps forward threatening to hit me. but i am trying my best not to be intimidated.
It: make me want to hit you
me: was that a question? it was more like an instruction
It; its a question! WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME STAND HERE AND MAKE ME WAIT FOR YOU TO SAY YOU GET IT
stupid fucker are you so insecure that you need me to PROMISE you. do you want to hook pinkies?
LIKE I CAN SAY NO? I WANT YOU TO HEAR MY VOICE OUTSIDE YOUR ROOM ( aka FUCKHOLE )
me; okay i get it.
NOW FUCK OFF. insecure fucker
i hope you imagine my voice in your dreams and hallucinate
my voice is everywhereeeeee
once again this is not a family but a fuckmily. the one and only in the whole wide world. A FUCKMILY.
many sad feelings
okay so, i already have a good feeling of my life in the next few years down the sea. cause this is the under C results that i going to get. is it the brain no good? no it is coz i do not have a faith in God. you see the peepurs who got faith in God score very well. and are very happy. but does this mean that then you cannot have your own feelings? i dont know. like if i dont trust in God i will fail? no i do not know either. so you trust you dont lose anything why not trust. okay trust. start trusting. but still i feel very sad now because it is very confirmed that the 4 years things i learn no one is going to acknowledge that coz i am going to achieve the most low results in olevel history. how???? shit me. and i cant even breathe properly because i am freaking scared. i do not eant to go through this ever ever again. i want to become a maid in another country learn another language and have a new life as a new human being. with a new passport and identity card and entry proof and a new PMCAS. OKAY? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR? then i will send my salary back home to my family to repay them for making all this misery possible. because without them, i would never be able to enjoy misery. SO, THANK YOU! please just, i am sad sad enough already, last year almost got retain, and this person had the voice to say, 'wah so sad then cannot go to prom together. ' i really hate you for saying that and i cannot get over the hatred. i cannot get over myself. okay? why do people who say such insulting stuff get to live good lives and eat nice vegetables and chinese food? and get to swim in nice water everyday? and get to wear nice high heeled shoes? so in order not to feel this angry injustice over the human resources not evenly distributed among the humans, we must count out blessings, okay. like for example the sun, the climate, the blog, the fingers et cetera. feel musch better? hey at least you have fingers! and a proper toilet bowl. BE HAPPY!
finally. i would like to thank the teachers for being very nice.
whatever the outcome. please just pretend you never taught a student like that.
thank you.
goodbye.
i really am truly remorseful for being a very bad student, perhaps i have bringed these upon myself.
finally. i would like to thank the teachers for being very nice.
whatever the outcome. please just pretend you never taught a student like that.
thank you.
goodbye.
i really am truly remorseful for being a very bad student, perhaps i have bringed these upon myself.
end of life
END OF LIFE.
my heart should stop moving
going to judge me based on the colour of my uniform, if any, next year.
i do not want to lie on this land, not the land of the free but the land of the imprisoned
stop boasting about the emath marks what you got 75/80 so what i got 81/80 go fuck yourself i am a phenomenon here.
the peepurs who thinks that they are all that and are so smart and can do so blardy well for the olevels are not going to do well in future because they have used up too many of their brain cells in a meaningless exam. I, however have preserved my brain cells and thus will have increased creative potential and hence morel likely to create miracles and scientific/ non-scientific breakthroughs in the near future. so i will most likely be like mr walt disney or mr mark zuckerburg whatever the names are.
so i will have a lot of faith and trust in out dear lord that He will bring me and us through this hard times because He loves us even though we are the worst things to exist on the face of this planet. and then one day emerge victorious
my heart should stop moving
going to judge me based on the colour of my uniform, if any, next year.
i do not want to lie on this land, not the land of the free but the land of the imprisoned
stop boasting about the emath marks what you got 75/80 so what i got 81/80 go fuck yourself i am a phenomenon here.
the peepurs who thinks that they are all that and are so smart and can do so blardy well for the olevels are not going to do well in future because they have used up too many of their brain cells in a meaningless exam. I, however have preserved my brain cells and thus will have increased creative potential and hence morel likely to create miracles and scientific/ non-scientific breakthroughs in the near future. so i will most likely be like mr walt disney or mr mark zuckerburg whatever the names are.
so i will have a lot of faith and trust in out dear lord that He will bring me and us through this hard times because He loves us even though we are the worst things to exist on the face of this planet. and then one day emerge victorious
how can we be judged just by one piece of blardy parchment and the colour of the cloths we don? this is too shallow minded.. i am also shallow minded.
wear the white and green cloths = smart = confucian disciples = worship the gods snd goddesses of education in green and white
stupid.
retake privately coz st nicks wont take me in anymore...
oh heartless world!
wear the white and green cloths = smart = confucian disciples = worship the gods snd goddesses of education in green and white
stupid.
retake privately coz st nicks wont take me in anymore...
oh heartless world!
fail
i have officially truthfully genuinely failed in my olevels 2011. do you want to know why? because i have failed. instead of being the normal students who is supposed to have a easy easy education path. i am going to have to retake the olevels next year. this is because i have screwed up the shading of the PMCAS whatever you call it. so is it really y faulth? i just freaked out only what. cannot say i lazy or stupid or not hardworking correct? THERE WAS NO TIME MY BRAIN HAD NO OXYGEN OF OMEGA THREE FATTY ACIDS OR VITAMIN D.
as i see all my classmates graduate happily in square hats, i turn away and see if the school will accept me for another year. i am a failure and the teachers would have lost all hope on me. 8A1s! the normal st nicks success. what about 8F9s??? a legend....
now i feel so sad, what am i to do? miss yee. mdm lee. miss jacq lee. miss candy lee. your efforts have gone down sewage. down into the toilet bowls. i am very sorry. i cannot do it. i could not and i had not done it.....
lastly, i do not deserve to exist. a fellow who cannot even pass an examination after numerous coaching....... just freaked out in 60 mins.....
i hate everything. this is so sad depressing.
so the whole blind world who is so judgemental is going to judge me, the jc people 'which jc you wanna go to?' what the heck the question always asked by people.... i cannot go anywhere, going to retake.....
judged me not based on 4 years of toiling and hard work and money spent on education, but on a mere piece of parchment from the United Kingdom...
they would probably want out literacy rate to go down so we will not have enough creative potential to work in the tertiary adn quatenary industries and as a result s'pore GDP will go down and the United Kingdom GDP will go up coz they determine our results and hence our literacy rate....
bye bye. 4 YEARSSSSSSSSSSS. I HATE MY LIFE.
wasted time not like i wanted this blardy education in the first place
as i see all my classmates graduate happily in square hats, i turn away and see if the school will accept me for another year. i am a failure and the teachers would have lost all hope on me. 8A1s! the normal st nicks success. what about 8F9s??? a legend....
now i feel so sad, what am i to do? miss yee. mdm lee. miss jacq lee. miss candy lee. your efforts have gone down sewage. down into the toilet bowls. i am very sorry. i cannot do it. i could not and i had not done it.....
lastly, i do not deserve to exist. a fellow who cannot even pass an examination after numerous coaching....... just freaked out in 60 mins.....
i hate everything. this is so sad depressing.
so the whole blind world who is so judgemental is going to judge me, the jc people 'which jc you wanna go to?' what the heck the question always asked by people.... i cannot go anywhere, going to retake.....
judged me not based on 4 years of toiling and hard work and money spent on education, but on a mere piece of parchment from the United Kingdom...
they would probably want out literacy rate to go down so we will not have enough creative potential to work in the tertiary adn quatenary industries and as a result s'pore GDP will go down and the United Kingdom GDP will go up coz they determine our results and hence our literacy rate....
bye bye. 4 YEARSSSSSSSSSSS. I HATE MY LIFE.
wasted time not like i wanted this blardy education in the first place
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